I’m bracing myself for an all-day cooking and football orgy, capped off with a dinner that is threatening to complete the destruction of my liver. We love the holidays! No turkey here, but we shall not lack for ways of increasing avoirdupois. As I write this, it’s a few hours before dawn and the drinking has commenced. And the linking.

First, here’s a shock: if you make a technology better and cheaper, people buy more of it. So there MUST be a downside, even if we have to make it up. We cannot tolerate the wishes of the proletariat, Comrade.

This is the End Of The Internet, accompanied by furious pants-wetting. Why, this could take us back to the anarchic days of 2014, when the dead bytes were stacked like cord-wood at the side of every road. If we can’t regulate innovation, why, people might have more options, and we cannot tolerate that, either, Comrade.

Cook County’s repeal of the transparently money-grabbing soda tax has the inevitable consequence of having to reduce their municipal leeches labor force by a minuscule fraction. This is a MAJOR TRAGEDY- these people may be forced to get actual jobs. Hardest hit is the the board president’s office, which loses 15 workers. Get back to me when you think of a reason that they even needed 15 people, much less a large enough staff that 15 people being laid off can be done without real consequence.

Another shock- in a whining plea to get more funds, the most useless agency in the entire federal government is about to make the most miserable travel days of the year even more miserable. We really need more wood-chippers.

Finally, for Old Guy music, the obligatory Canadian Content. And I hope that you all play the role of the Conservative Uncle Who Must Be Devastated In Political Arguments in a way that makes us all laugh our asses off.