Because there is no reasonable way to do a write up of this genre and continue to be employed, this must be done in pieces.  Which is fine, since the subgenres are unique enough to stand on their own.

Part 1:  The Imperial Stout

The Imperial Stout is a style with origins in England, who’s brewers had contracts to supply Russian Czars with beer—particularly Catherine the Great (pictured below).  

This style is not Russian in origin which is why nearly every take on the Imperial Stout is associated with Russia or the Soviet Union is misleading.  The standard bearer, at least out west, comes from California’s Northcoast Brewery and associates itself with a Czarist wizard who is famous for his ability to survive multiple attempts on his life.  Possibly due to jealousy over that bitchin beard.

Czar Nicholas II, after multiple attempts at siring an heir finally had son, Aleksei Nikolayevich in 1904.  Unfortunately, he was diagnosed at an early age with hemophilia and at that time there wasn’t exactly a treatment for it.  Once Aleksei began to bleed, his parents did what any rational person would do and consulted mystics, holy men and healers to cure their son.  In 1908 they finally found a Siberian who delivered.  Grigory Efimovich Rasputin, a man who underwent a bit of a religious transformation after travels to Greece and Jerusalem in his formative years.  Upon his arrival to St. Petersburg he gained a self-proclaimed reputation as having both healing powers and the ability to predict the future.  Part of why anybody really talks about him is that somehow, whatever he did, helped Aleksei survive.  Nobody is certain if he really did anything, or if it was just a coincidence.  In 1916, conspirators from the royal family believed Rasputin to have sexual relations with the queen and that his beard was an evil presence that was taking over Russia.  

In order to save Mother Russia, Rasputin had to die.

Turns out killing Rasputin and his beard was quite the task.  First, they tried to lure Rasputin with a sexual foray and leave cyanide laced pastries and wine.  Rasputin eventually ate the pastries, and drank the wine, with no effect.  They then tried a more direct approach and shot him, with Rasputin initially convulsing and going still.  An hour later, they found Rasputin stumbling across the courtyard.  After a bit of a chase, they eventually shot him in the back, which stopped the beard momentarily.  Finally, they did something Russians are quite proficient, and shot him in the back of the head.  Even then, the beard continued to crawl forward with the final blow being a kick to the head.

The beer itself is just as relentless.  It is black in color, and has an insane level of complexity.  The color of beer is the direct result of roasting malt prior to adding it to the wort.  For light colored beers, the malt is lightly roasted or not at all.  In the case of stouts, the malt is roasted almost to the point of being burnt.  Much the same way that Starbucks roasts their coffee beans, which is why the word coffee almost universally comes up in conversation when describing Imperial Stouts.  What makes it imperial?  High gravity or high ABV.  These typically operate in the 8-10% range.  Other things you might taste in this style of beer is dark fruit, chocolate, nutty bread and a pleasant hop intensity to balance most of this out.  

As a bonus, this beer does not contain Cyanide. Old Rasputin Russian Imperial Stout 4.3/5

Since I like to believe I know my audience, this next one comes with the STEVE SMITH SEAL OF APPROVAL.  AND BY APPROVAL, MEAN RAPE.

This one is just as good, but the unfortunate aspect of this style is that they very nearly all taste alike unless you’re the type that will stick your nose into the glass to find the underlying aromatics.  I will end this by saying I suck at STEVE SMITH jokes.  THE PEANUT GALLERY HERE GETS THIS ONE.  AND BY PEANUT GALLERY, MEAN……  

GREAT DIVIDE YETI IMPERIAL STOUT.  4.3/5