I have known of the movie Zardoz since I was a kid but never watched it until last night, and I must say, “Huh?” Exterminators get guns from a giant head, who haphazardly tosses shotguns and shells at anyone who can pick them up. What about infiltrating Brutals? Zed proceeds to climb into the head while no one was watching, (maybe Arthur, who knows?) and shoots Arthur in the arm, causing his death, which can’t be because he’s an Eternal.

Zed lands in the scenery for the Prisoner and finds the only person (Mae) (Ginger yum) with no soul to make contact with, gets caught up in the Tabernacle Bullshit, and is forced to leave, OK. (I’m a Ginger, my Wife is a Ginger, and yes, we have no souls.)

And where are the boobies? Is that what the British have to put up with? No wonder we created a new country, full of boobies!

Attacked by people who can’t fight their way INTO a plastic bag? Then run when Zed breaks out of a PLASTIC BAG?…. OK.  If you break the law you are aged, so where did the 300 hundred-year-old tuxedos and dresses come from? Leaving ’em in storage for later? What later? Zed apparently breaks the Tabernacle at just the moment The Exterminators come in to clean house? And of course, Consuela and Sean make a baby and grow old. It’s amazing how good Sean Connery looks compared to the movie version of him aging.

What the Hell did I watch? I love early 70’s movies: washed-out scenes, horrible dialogue, and a certain Hippie-je ne sais quoi, FWIW, but this was a complete 70’s mess. The storyline is typical for the time, which is none! Maybe I should torture myself and watch it again and again until my Brutal thoughts are cleansed, but no.

I suggest the Charleton Heston dark series which includes: Planet of the Apes, Beneath the Planet of the Apes (World Ender), Soylent Green, The Omega Man.

These are all early 70’s movies. Some period, some not, but a good glimpse of Sci Fi from the era.

ZARDOZ 3.0/5