“Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!”

Ah, Chuck Heston… If anyone needed a nice stiff drink more than Taylor, I’d hate to be that poor bastard.

I first made this as a goof for a party, but we all decided it was so damn tasty it went into our regular rotation. And, yes, you will have to buy a bottle of Créme de Banana, but it is worth it.

The Planet of the Apes

2 oz dark rum
1 oz pineapple juice
1 oz orange juice
1/2 oz lime juice
3/4 oz créme de banana

Shake together with ice and serve up in a martini glass or over large chunks of ice in a whiskey glass. Fresh juices are highly recommended.

And avoid the temptation to go with Myers, the dark rum of many a frat boy’s nightmares. Appleton Estate VX Jamaican Rum is my go-to for any dark rum application.


Derpetologist’s Spot the Not: Mitch McConnell

Slightly less challenging version of Spot the Not

1. Nobody is happy about losing lives but, remember, these are not draftees.
These are full-time professional soldiers.

2. We need to strengthen and save Social Security for today’s workers.
If we don’t act now, this system, born out of the New Deal, will become a bad deal.

3. The problem with the world today is people have put away their Bibles.
They’re living by the law of the jungle and not the law of the land.

4. We all know that Social Security is one of this country’s greatest success stories in the 20th century.

5. The Patriot Act is one of the most important and overdue pieces of legislation in a generation.

6. Under ordinary circumstances, I would have opposed such a measure.
Government intervention in the marketplace cuts against all my ordinary impulses. But this was not an ordinary event.