JOIN US, MY CHOSEN ONES!
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU HIS CHOSEN ONES IN SOLIDARITY. TO THE STREETS, MY CHOSEN ONES! WE HAVE THE NUMBERS OF BRUTAL WORKERS, AND WE HAVE THE MORAL HIGH GROUND! AS A GESTURE OF SOLIDARITY, HERE IS A GIFT OF LINKS.
- ZARDOZ WONDERS HOW MUCH OF THIS WILL GET STEERED TO VARIOUS PLACES OTHER THAN BRUTAL’S GOVERNMENT TREASURY.
- BRUTAL POLITICIAN WILL BE MAINTAINING CURRENT RESIDENCE.
- ZARDOZ PROVIDES NEWS FOR THOSE FANS OF BRUTALS KICKING ROUND THING. [IT APPEARS THAT BRUTAL JUVENILE BLUSTER IS DUE A “HAT TIP”]
- BRUTAL STATE OF CANADA IS BEING INVADED BY LARGE CRYSTALLINE STRUCTURES!
- IS THIS WHAT BRUTALS CALL “INTERSECTIONALITY”?
ZARDOZ THANKS THOSE COMMENTERS THAT STAND WITH HIM!
…
DOES ANYONE ELSE HEAR A CLANKING SOUND?
clankityclankityclankclankclank
ZARDOZ WONDERS HOW MUCH OF THIS WILL GET STEERED TO VARIOUS PLACES OTHER THAN BRUTAL’S GOVERNMENT TREASURY.
Are those idiotic Eric Holder rules still in place?
That is a reference to that hair helmet right?
I don’t think he gets to keep the snazzy haircut in prison, unfortunately.
Good. I’m glad that gun-grabbing pile of shit is going to ride out his term.
BRUTAL STATE OF CANADA IS BEING INVADED BY LARGE CRYSTALLINE STRUCTURES!
Finally, something in Newfoundland draws some tourists. Too bad nobody can understand the locals when asking for directions.
How a newfie gives directions:
TOURIST: Excuse me, how would I get to Gander from here?
NEWF: Do you see that road there, me shrimp?
TOURIST: Er, yeah . . .
NEWF: Well don’t take it. It won’t do you a bit of good.
etc. . . .
Scandal at Oregon State University, Corvallis
One of the buildings on campus is named after a county which was named after Thomas Hart Benton who was racist.
Thomas Hart Benton the Missouri Senator, not the artist
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS STRIKE BREAKING ONE. YOU ARE BRINGING SCAB LINKS IN HERE?! POPE JOHN PAUL II WOULD BE SAD.
Let me channel a little Sam Kinison…
You don’t like the name of this building? THEN GO TO ANOTHER FUCKING SCHOOL!
YOU’RE TOO FUCKING STUPID FOR CORVALLIS! [this is a killer line for the Eugene crowd]
ZARDOZ ENCOURAGES DUCK-BEAVER CIVIL WAR. REDUCES NUMBER OF BRUTALS, PERHAPS?
If only that had been the response from the school administration. Unfortunately they lean the same purported way as the neo-Maoist idiot children and are sympathetic to their stated goals. Of course that isn’t the purpose. Agitation and destruction of institutions is the real aim and a ginned up fake scandal is merely the latest vehicle.
/angry sometime Beaver here
It’s not difficult at all. Of course they need to change the name of the building. They also need to round up all students with the name Thomas, Hart, or Benson. They need to expel them after they publicly beat them in the square because they are obviously racists with names like that.
Also the cast of “Benson”, as well as the cast of “Soap”, just to be sure.
I wish progs were more consistent with their desire to ban all things connected to racist. Why don’t you ever hear progs asking to get rid of Medicare, Medicaid, etc. on account of being the product of that horrible racist LBJ?
ZARDOZ understands greed, therefore ZARDOZ understands the nature of the Dortmund incident. And this let’s us all place our antipathy back where it truly belongs – on Russia.
A Russo-German bomber. Someone in Hollywood just got a hard-on.
Fifth! Three hours of Vodka Cranberry’s and this ageing punker finds himself in a YouTube hole watching/listening to 70’s/80’s prog rock. Rush, King Crimson, Camel, Yes. Shit I’m about to pull up some Level 42. Sounds pretty good running from my PC to my Marantz receiver to my Celestion speakers. Beats watching the Twins lose another game to Verlander.
Whoops. I guess “Sixth”
IT IS ALL GOOD TO ZARDOZ, HIS VODKA CONSUMING ONE.
Camel? Wow, you’re deep in the cups.
BP: I think Jello Biafra once said: “Nostalgia is a mind killer.” But if I had to guess I bet I’m having more fun tonight than he is.
No, Fear is the mind killer….
/Bene Gesserit
Did you mean this?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TJmF1Lo5fU
Maybe this.
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
Nice
Vodka Cranberry’s what?
Zardoz likes yelling. He’s like my dad was.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS FILIAL ONE. DID YOUR FATHER GIVE THE GIFT OF THE GUN? IF THE PENIS WASN’T EVIL, ZARDOZ WOULD CONSIDER BEING SUGAR-DADDY TO COMELY FEMALE BRUTALS.
Please Zardoz won’t you be my sugar daddy? are you sure?
I’ll do it! I just bought a used lawnmower, pulled the carb and cleaned it and now it runs like new! – signed, random drunken guy.
I think he only pays in guns and grain?
Fair enough, which guns and what grain?
GUNS!
Population control to protect mother earth huh. Didn’t know it was an environmental movie. Is Zardoz Al Gore?
Eh, the grain ended up as some weird green baguettes or with Sean Connery buried in it.
Judging by her tastes, she probably has a thing for swarthy, hairy men swimming through the grain.
I can sell those! plus, he’s a floating head so I think I get the better part of the deal
Yep after all, all you have to do is give him head.
*narrows gaze*
Similar to mine as well. He had issues with modern lax morals too.
I had to wait for Uncle Sam to give the gift of the gun though.
Oh and my dad was into whole grains and daily oatmeal. So there’s that.
So there’s that.
What? Regular movements?
Married man sends hijack hoax email to avoid trip with girlfriend
ET TU, BRUTAL BOLGER?
To our wives and our girlfriends, may the never meet.
*swig*
Five rules for men to follow, for a happy life:
1. It’s important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.
2. It‘s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It’s important to have a woman you can trust, and doesn’t lie to you.
4. It’s important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.
5. It’s important that these four women do not know each other.
That reminds me of this one.
Fake your death to get out of your extramarital affair. For a nuke sub captain….that’s pretty stupid. Then again, nukes are typically a little higher on the aspie chart.
Maybe he solved his marriage problem in the process?
OT: Did they give #2 LSD in addition to makeup? Because it sure seems like it.
The saucer sized pupils? There is something up there. I am throwing a photo shop flag on a few of those.
A couple of them look better without. And do wigs count as “make-up”?
And many…
…don’t.
Sooth. I think they were playing that up, however.
Yellow Fever is a dangerous disease.
Gerry Anderson says no, if they’re moon base personnel.
http://imgur.com/0MMzzLQ
I’m pretty Seoul has perfected cloning technology at this point.
That gif is amazing.
Slammer: ZARDOZ needs to recognize that if he keeps yelling at his CHOSEN ONES we will rebel much as a son does against a father. Who am I kidding… I’m too drunk to keep up with the bad Sci-Fi references on this fucking site. Jesus, where is Jesse with pictures of gay dudes. Or someone with pictures of hot fat women?
Fur Friday post will cover the gay dudes…well, mostly uncover.
As I mentioned before, Justin Verlander is pitching against the TWINS tonight at Target Field. That means that –potentially– Kate Upton is just a six-minute drunken bus ride away from me. What do you think? Should I go for it?
Never ventured, never gained.
Definitely. Wear a dark hoodie, sunglasses and leather gloves when you follow her around though. You don’t want to make her security nervous.
Jorts and a wife-beater always bring the girls to the yard.
A former band mate of mine used to refer to the gloves you mentioned as “Rape Gloves.” I don’t actually own a pair.
I just watched a Polack working on small engines and the first comment on his site was some young neer-do-well complaining about his rape gloves. Where do we get these gloves? Home Depot?
The leather gloves I have I referred to as assassin gloves. It led to some strange looks when a person wearing a trench coat and a scally cap was buying them.
How to evade security
https://youtu.be/XbRjfsHzUNI
When I typed animal house into Google, my spellcheck changed it to anal goose. Wtf.
Your browsing history must be quite….SugarFree-ish.
Kate Upton?
…
WOULD SMASH!
Her torso is off kilter.
I WILL BLAST IT BACK INTO PLACE!
Yeah, that body is ridicules
I’m not really sure what to do here.
27 comments? I was at the dentist, so don’t blame me ZARDOZ.
The story isn’t going away – Hernandez is rumored to have killed to hide his secret bisexuality. The NFL’s headaches just grew exponentially. Two days tops before a number of articles are written on toxic homophobia in the NFL driving him to murder, and now the heartless Pats won’t pay any of that bonus money to his poor little girl.
Let’s just add a little “victim” to the sauce and the creme broulee will be Fantastic!
The Patriots are responsible for North Korea.
The Patriots are responsible for the early 70’s Habs, Duke and the New York Yankees.
Ohai gays can murder people, too. BFD.
Clever people can murder people.
Anyone can murder people. Clever people might get away with it.
Speaking of clever murderers, we just got done watching Mr. Brooks. Pretty fun movie.
Anyone else remember The Talented Mr. Ripley? Speaking of a clever murderer.
I have not seen it
Brain kinda sprungboard off “Mr.” I was young when it came out and I can’t remember enough of it to recommend it, but it’s probably worth looking into.
I prefer Plein soleil, although none of the characters act remotely American.
Evidently this was done to pay homage to the movie. Whatever.
https://youtu.be/rr7RBcyHJk8
First Jorts now Ohai. You fuckers speak English?
I do not speak jive either
Barbara Billingsley hardest hit.
ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!
So was Omar Mateen gay or not?
Well he certainly didn’t kill all those gays in the name of Islam. That would be Islamaphobic, and only Christians and Jews can be that.
Though that now raises the question: did Omar Mateen kill them because he was a suppressed gay dude, or because he was secretly a homophobic Christian fundamentalist?
Sat down and had lunch with a friend and a work buddy of his. First time out with friends in feels like ages. She’s pretty, chipper, degreed somewhat ostentatiously and works with kids. Flirty. Single. Started talking about how progressive the eatery is. Oh.
Obviously, the correct course of action is to fuck her and never speak to her again.
According to some of the guys I used to know at Uni, that was the default, if not only, course of action.
Uni? UNI? He’s a Canadian or a Brit! Response.
Nooo BP, just smile and back away Canadians only see movement, so if you move slowly enough they won’t even notice your retreat.
Like a Frightened turtle, then…
It’s just the excuse I’ll use for doing nothing to pursue it. This way I can pretend I had a choice in the matter.
You only live once.
I think Gilmore tried to argue the other day, that nobody ever says on their deathbed, “I regret sticking it in crazy.”
Sometimes crazy will sure you don’t make it long enough to have a deathbed, or have time to think about your life…
Because it’s hard to say anything when crazy is pressing a pillow onto your face until you stop moving?
Phil Hartman has been pretty silent about his experience with crazy.
i don’t recall saying this, but i do think its a funny idea.
I think it was Brochetta making that argument. While I have not reached my death bed yet, I am not so sure I won’t regret some past relationship decisions that involved the crazy.
i’ve stuck it in crazy at least once.
(*she stopped taking her meds midway through a relationship – and had never told me she was on them in the first place, much less consulted me on the wisdom of ending them)
I would not wish the experience on my worst enemy.
that said, I think the joke *I* would have made would have been something like, =
“No one ever says on their deathbed, “I wish i had fucked fewer women”
its not true (*see: anyone who’s ever contracted AIDS), but its funny
It was Ken. He put up a wall of text that could be easily be summed up as, DO stick it in crazy.
i remember that
People throw out terms like that thinking that all people think the same way, obviously. I’m meeting a guy for drinks tonight that thinks I’m a Christian conservative. He uses the word “Cuck” without irony and thinks “raghead” is a fine way to describe Arabs.
Jeez. Expat or military or what?
Canadian. Really. Loves Gavin.
If you really want to to see some some frothing at the mouth racism, ask a Persian what they think of Arabs. Raghead is practically a compliment.
I would be unable to prevent myself from saying things like, “MMM THIS IS THE WOKEST SALAD IVE EVER. I can literally *taste* the justice” And ask their waiter what the most intersectional items on the menu are. any Earth Day specials? and is the salt both kosher AND dolphin-free?
So Verlander has been pulled. The Twins are winning. I know for a fact that MLB umpires are put-up in The Hyatt Regency on Nicollet Avenue. If I crane my neck I can see it from my apartment building. Maybe that’s where visiting ball clubs are ensconced, too. I’m gonna hop on the 18 and finally determine if my head is indeed exactly the size of one of Kate Upton’s tits. Look for me in tomorrows B-Section of the Star Tribune!
And on Cops
It’s science, officer! SCIENCE!
Just don’t let us find the criminal complaint against you on “The Smoking Gun”.
IS THIS WHAT BRUTALS CALL “INTERSECTIONALITY”?
I do seriously wonder if the LGTBBQ community realizes that fundamental or orthodox Islam is not their friend will part ways with their leftist and prog brethen over this. I also wonder if attitudes are different in the gay community is different in Europe. I don’t get the same sense of SJW there. Socialism-lite labor party type attitudes among the left, but not so much cultural progressivm among non-elites is my impression. Only ones who seem to be proggies are some BBC talking heads. But then again, I could be completely wrong.
John Oliver tweaking American noses should help.
I never really grokked the concept of a “punchable” face until I saw John Oliver’s mug. Oh yeah, now I get it.
He’s such a putz
It would be great if he showed just a twitch of level. He’s funny but he always pushes the snowball downhill.
To a connoisseur of comedy John Oliver is such a disappointment . I’ve been following him for over a decade. He really is capable of being funny. But like too many humorists he decided it is more important to be liked by the “right” sort of people than to do his fucking job: Which is to stick a pin in the balloons of the powerful– whatever their political affiliations.
His delivery is very good and then he shanks off to the left. Disappointing.
The Venezuela not being a socialist country thing came up a few times over the past few days. It really bugs me the defense pulled out by those who love themselves other peoples money. One of the steps taken by the non-socialist Chavez Government was to take over oil companies, and as someone mentioned earlier, I think the socialists need to be reminded of that.
They should also be reminded of what Maxine Waters said about oil companies here.
She couldn’t get elected in CA if she wasn’t retarded.
Fine. Venezuela isn’t socialist. Venezuela seizes assets and redistributes. Your version of “socialism” doesn’t do that? Great! I’m a socialist, too.
Succinct!
I might need to seize that comment and redistribute it.
I don’t care what you call your stupid commie economy. If you don’t respect property rights and you don’t enforce contracts, you’re gonna run it aground. All this True Scotsman shit is beside the point, socialism isn’t about application, it’s about what you’re willing to violate to apply it. And invariably that means violating contracts and violating property rights. So call your commie shitshow whatever you like.
If you haven’t had your fill of derp today.
http://www.globalresearch.ca/us-led-economic-war-not-socialism-is-tearing-venezuela-apart/5535633
They act like we did when we stopped being controlled by our parents. I lived in a very lax commune for awhile when I was 20. As soon as people start coupling that will be the end of your utopia. “Rent” is a construct, Man! Shitty too, because I was never happier. It’s been all downhill since then.
I stopped shortly after:
The US conspired with the Saudis to flood the market? I might need a citation there. The Obama administration was pulling strings, so I might be able to be convinced of that because it killed a bunch of US companies and jobs in ND.
If $100 oil will save Venezuela, I am all for it. I could go back to work.
There was an article in The Economist some months back which estimated how expensive oil would have to be (and stay) for various oil-dependent countries to break even. For Russia, IIRC, it was around $100. Iran was, oh, $120 or $125. For Venezuela it was “somewhat more expensive than it has *ever been.*”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_oil_production
You remember how falling oil prices caused worldwide riots in oil producing countries like Russia, Canada, and the US? Yeah, me neither.
Do you remember the stories of all those Norwegian folks losing their welfare benefits when the price of oil dropped? Because I don’t remember reading that story either.
Hell, I’ve known quite a few people who have worked in the oil industry around the world, and most countries go to great pains to protect the goose that lays the golden eggs.
Anyways, seems like a good segway to one of my favorite jokes:
A guy is working in the Alaskan oil fields. He walks up to the Bartender, “I’ve been working here six months and none of my coworkers respect me. I’ve worked oil fields all over the world, but they treat me like a newbie.”
So the bartender tells him, “There are three things you have to do to earn their respect. You have to drink a gallon of whiskey, make love to an Eskimo woman, and kill a Polar bear with your bare hands.” He figured he could do that, but after a quick look around the bar there weren’t any Eskimo women he could seduce. So He drank a gallon of whiskey, then wandered off into the snow.
After about three days, people started worrying about what ever happened to that drunk guy that wandered into the snow. And he walks into the bar, cut to bloody ribbons, sits down at the bar stool, and says, “OK, tell me about that Eskimo woman I’m supposed to kill.”
Heard the same joke for the Queen Charlottes except the guy is supposed to come back with a cure for herpes.
OK, that demands some elaboration Festus
Valenzuela redistributed strikes into the strike zone. It redistributed some balls into the walk zone, but apparently not enough to satisfy baseball privilege.
That weird “looking-up” thing, right?
Atmospheric privilege,
I hate the Post Office. The single closest thing to a competent gov’t agency, and even they fuck up on the regular. Whatever sub-moron, mouth-breathing, illiterate monkey they have on our route has mis-delivered a half-dozen packages in as many months. And at least as many times has put letters in the wrong boxes and my neighbors have had to do their job. The Boats is too good a punishment for this drooling ‘tard.
Spitting into the garbage is my main concern. Spitting and using work toilets like you would if you ate some bad mammoth. Fucking pigs… Shit on the floor and throw your depends in the garbage. Who the hell tries to flush a tampon? One of these days I’m gonna go down there and break someone’s nose.
My workplace’s postal carrier doesn’t bother getting out of his/her (not sure which since I’ve never seen them) LLV to even attempt delivery of packages. Just sticks a “no one there (lie), pick up package tomorrow at the post office”
notice in the box and drives on.
I call one of the girls “Beggin-strips” because she always leaves a little extra for me.
I’m 80% sure your mail is being delivered by a CCA (City Carrier Assistant) they’re essentially temp hires that the PO is trying to fuck up quickly enough that they never become tenure track. They go out with next to no training and take on the bits that anyone with seniority avoids.
Everyone that works there is at least Fifty. They sold out their union and now can’t keep employees. Shame.
It’s a complicated mess. Back in ~2012 there was a program to get as many people off the rolls and onto disability retirement (or flat out quit) as possible and then they’ve hired on temp workers with the promise of 1950s labor situations as bait. Their labor situation has been terrible for a while but I’ve watched it get worse in real time.
I’m talking the Post Office, dude. I haven’t seen anyone there under Thirty in five years. No shit, it’s like grayling tinder except everyone is old and lazy.
Yeah. There’s the regular staff and then PSE/CCA staff which is basically long term staff. Most, but not all of them are in their 20s and are fools for thinking it’s a good job opportunity. They don’t always last long.
Our aging regular carrier finally retired a couple of years ago. She was kinda lazy, but holy hell, she was an A-type workaholic compared to the morons who have replaced her.
There are some lazy folks and a lot of incompetent folks running around, but the carriers are pretty amazing compared to a lot of the postal staff. A ton of the problems with mail delivery are automated now. The carriers used to sort their own mail back in the day and there were fewer problems than when an OCR system does it.
That may explain it. Doesn’t excuse it though. Tomorrow I have to go door to door to see which of my Portland neighbors is confused about getting a package from Johnny T-Shirt in Chapel Hill North Carolina.
I had to deal with EEOC complaints from the USPS and the VA back in 2004. Yeah, that’s why I know beyond a shadow of any doubt that giant government bureaucracies are toxic waste dumps and anybody who wants MORE of them is a moron.
Kim: What do you know about feminism, Wayne?
Wayne: I know it’s unsafe territory to discuss with a feminist.
Kim: Why?
Wayne: Someone will start shouting.
Kim: Why?
Wayne: I don’t know.
Loving season two Letterkenny. The weirdness and the tropes from the first season were feeling a little threadbare halfway through the first episode, but the second season is really playing up the superb rapid-fire dialogue.
The “UK” version of “Loving” is quite funny. I couldn’t get into the US one.
I think I’m actually talking about “Coupling.”
Yeah, UK coupling was was kind a Friends rip off, but it still managed to be it’s own thing. The US version of Coupling was just sad.
Anywhere North of ‘Tarana”. Yup.
Tarana?
I am geographically and culturally illiterate. These shows are literally everything I know about anything.
Toronto in backwoods ‘Tario accent.
Thankee sai.
It just is!
Lisa: We issue a hug consent form to parents, which allows us to hug their kids. Because 99% of the time, all kids need—is a hug.
Wayne: “A hug”?
Lisa: A squeeze. An embrace.
Wayne: Oh.
Lisa: Oh?
Wayne: Well.
Lisa: What is it?
Wayne: Nothin’.
Lisa: Wayne.
Wayne: Yeah?
Lisa: Speak freely.
Wayne: No, I’d better not.
Lisa: That’s the only way we’ll get to know each other.
Wayne: Do you ever smack ’em?
Lisa: Excuse me?
Wayne: Like, give ’em a good whack?
Lisa: I don’t follow.
Wayne: Do you ever hit the kid? Like, for being too silly.
Lisa: No! Wayne. We never hit our kids. You shouldn’t hit kids.
Wayne: Well, you know what, don’t you remember how scared you were of your principal when you were growing up? It’s ’cause he’d smack you if you were being too silly. Like your parents wanted you to have a principal who would smack you. They took comfort in the fact that they were sending you to a place every day where someone would smack you for them if you were being too silly. And sometimes I see kids these days, I kind of think, like—Like, wish you could still do that.
Lisa: That sort of discipline is long outdated, Wayne, and frowned upon. We sit the child down—
Wayne: That’s another problem.
What a night for sports.
What did I miss?
Bruins survive elimination in double OT. I’m not a big hockey fan, but that was pretty exciting to watch.
Someone links this every year, but what the hell.
Happy Earth Day!
Bonus Earth Day nonsense from an otherwise cool band!
I’ll burn a few tires in my yard and flash the neighbours! That’ll learn ’em!
A man goes to his doctor to get his balls examined. The doctors says, ” I’m sorry to tell you this, but you’ll have to give up masturbation.” The dejected man asks why. “Because I’m trying to examine you.”
A man in a bar orders a punch. The bartender says, Look, if you want punch you’ll have to get in line. The man looks around, but there is no punch line.
Now you’ve opened pandora’s paradox.
You both deserve nothing but this
Would.
Wakes up groggy “Oh Baby!”
Wait, is ZARDOZ on strike or not?
ZARDOZ GIVES GUNS! ZARDOZ SLEEPS IN THE VAN FROM TIME TO TIME .
I assume we’re not above hiring Pinkertons to settle strikes.
Depends which end of the billy-club that you identify with.
Watching new Fargo, Excellent! Mary Elizabeth is looking fine…
3:37am thread life? really?
Some of us live on the rest coast. I’ve seen that my dog is a Panzer and the cats are Renaualts.
The rest coast getting the good shit on this fine night.
Nah, that little shit has a hair across her ass. She’s wee, the cats just bat her around. She’s like a dem operative, working.
LOL…gotta love Israelis
The
JewsZionists here are the real problem, not the Palestinian freedom fighters! – The left, probablyIt only took 45 minutes for the IDF to shut that down. They were all over that. And somewhere a reservist was caught wiping off mustard from the side of his mouth afterward.
Bacon cheeseburgers?
Funny how all of those attacks are after the PLO and Israel signed their agreement. No way, they totally renounced terrorism.
I’m sure the Nobel Peace Prize folks will pick up Arafat’s prize, because it was all just a huge misunderstanding, right after they pick up Obama’s.
Trolling with BBQ. That is awesome. I wish there was a March for Science around me. I would go do some tail gating with the grill and some signs, “Save the Manatees, They Are Delicious!!!” “The best tacos are made from clubbed seals”