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Jesus Take the Bill

Posted by Heroic Mulatto | Oct 3, 2017 | Art, Politics, Religion | 113

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About The Author

Heroic Mulatto

113 Comments

  1. DenverJ on October 3, 2017 at 9:41 pm

    Whar my Jewsday Tuesday?!?!!

    • Heroic Mulatto on October 3, 2017 at 9:44 pm

      A new covenant.

      • DenverJ on October 3, 2017 at 9:49 pm

        My subscription says that it comes with Jewsday Tuesday 50 weeks a year, the exceptions being there weeks of Christmas and Easter (which I found odd).

      • Playa Manhattan on October 3, 2017 at 9:51 pm

        Jews for Jesus?

        • egould310 on October 3, 2017 at 10:10 pm

          Jewsus?

          • NOT a Naked Intruder on October 3, 2017 at 11:27 pm

            Or, “disciples”.

    • Gordilocks on October 3, 2017 at 10:13 pm

      The Van ran out of gas?

      • Russian Kia Drives Yusef on October 3, 2017 at 10:18 pm

        My Vans don’t get it

      • egould310 on October 3, 2017 at 10:21 pm

        It was obviously no Boogie Van https://youtu.be/CedHE-lJf3M

        • Gordilocks on October 3, 2017 at 10:36 pm

          As long as the springs hold.

    • robc on October 4, 2017 at 7:52 am

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0ZMj5RksbE

  2. EvilSheldon on October 3, 2017 at 9:48 pm

    You can’t really see it, but Donald has his pants around his ankles…

    • DenverJ on October 3, 2017 at 9:51 pm

      He’s receiving the body of Christ.

    • CPRM on October 3, 2017 at 10:32 pm

      That’s my assumption unless I can see that he is actually wearing pants, thanks to SF.

  3. Q Continuum on October 3, 2017 at 9:52 pm

    I see cult of personality is not limited to Barry O.

    • Heroic Mulatto on October 3, 2017 at 9:57 pm

      Dude…

      Dude!

  4. Playa Manhattan on October 3, 2017 at 10:05 pm

    As more information trickles in:
    The shooter shot for about 11 or 12 minutes.
    It took 73 minutes for SWAT to breach the door.

    This is not good.

    • Gordilocks on October 3, 2017 at 10:12 pm

      Was he Firing continuously for the entire 12 minutes? If so, that would seem to indicate a weapon change, no?

      • one true athena on October 3, 2017 at 10:28 pm

        No, Sheriff said “off and on”. So there were pauses.

        Dude had a freaking camera on the food cart in the hall to warn him of police approaching. This is so very odd.

        • Gordilocks on October 3, 2017 at 10:31 pm

          Indeed.

          Pardon my ignorance on the fine details. I’ve been avoiding the media on this until after a few days has gone by.

        • NOT a Naked Intruder on October 3, 2017 at 11:24 pm

          I read that he also recorded himself during the shooting. I, personally, find it odd that he (possibly) did that, but does not seem to have left any kind of rant/explanation/manifesto.

          • CPRM on October 3, 2017 at 11:30 pm

            He left a letter complaining about the snack bar, but it was deemed irrelevant. (JK for anyone mistaking me for an information source)

          • Playa Manhattan on October 3, 2017 at 11:37 pm

            He may have done a lot of things that we don’t know about. Including being naked.

          • CPRM on October 3, 2017 at 11:40 pm

            Just trying to bring some levity.

          • NOT a Naked Intruder on October 4, 2017 at 1:23 am

            ^So much this. But, true about all the shit he might have done that no one is aware of, yet.

      • Playa Manhattan on October 3, 2017 at 11:24 pm

        Very on and off. He had 2 positions.

  5. Gordilocks on October 3, 2017 at 10:09 pm

    Of course this Jesus is white. Of course.

    • Heroic Mulatto on October 3, 2017 at 10:22 pm

      Yes, but at least he is signing the travel ban.

      • Gordilocks on October 3, 2017 at 10:24 pm

        “Let he who is without sin build the first wall.”

  6. Urthona on October 3, 2017 at 10:14 pm

    Can’t believe WaPo published this anti-gun control editorial. The comments are amazeballs.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/i-used-to-think-gun-control-was-the-answer-my-research-told-me-otherwise/2017/10/03/d33edca6-a851-11e7-92d1-58c702d2d975_story.html

  7. CPRM on October 3, 2017 at 10:16 pm

    This is the scandal to take Trump down!

  8. egould310 on October 3, 2017 at 10:16 pm

    Jesus doesn’t want me for a sunbeam https://youtu.be/RcLM_gqLlYc

    • butt-head on October 4, 2017 at 12:34 am

      Love the Vaselines

  9. Russian Kia Drives Yusef on October 3, 2017 at 10:20 pm

    If Jesus took over at least He wouldn’t lie to us when he fucks us in the ass

    • Gordilocks on October 3, 2017 at 10:21 pm

      It’s going to be yuuuuuuge, my children.

    • Bobarian LMD on October 3, 2017 at 11:30 pm

      But don’t think there won’t be any fucking…

      Cause there is gonna be a lot of fucking.

  10. Gustave Lytton on October 3, 2017 at 10:21 pm

    I get scared when HM is posting late at night. I’m afraid I’ll click on something horribly embarrassing out in public.

    Is it Agile Mulatto or Heroic Cyborg?

    • Gordilocks on October 3, 2017 at 10:22 pm

      There’s a party we could all enjoy.

    • Russian Kia Drives Yusef on October 3, 2017 at 10:22 pm

      Both?

    • Playa Manhattan on October 3, 2017 at 11:25 pm

      You dropped a “What?” the other night. Do you want details?

  11. Russian Kia Drives Yusef on October 3, 2017 at 10:21 pm

    At least we have Alice!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwFE9tkq4KM&list=PL63COkU253vSVC3Rk5f5JFR2FRTdobz5n&index=7

    • egould310 on October 3, 2017 at 10:28 pm

      Not Alice Cooper.

      Alice by Dick Diver from Australia https://youtu.be/gMnPJ-bxuH0

    • CPRM on October 3, 2017 at 10:28 pm

      Who The Hell is Alice?

  12. Russian Kia Drives Yusef on October 3, 2017 at 10:25 pm

    anyone do Halloween? I just got my tiki torches for my body parts, they look Gruesome,
    more Alice, classic song
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7PaLqqcx5I&list=PL63COkU253vSVC3Rk5f5JFR2FRTdobz5n&index=8

    • egould310 on October 3, 2017 at 10:32 pm

      More Alice. Alice Donut https://youtu.be/tB-Z4Q7badE

  13. straffinrun on October 3, 2017 at 10:28 pm

    So those us without time zone privilege get HM’s blasphemous assaults on our values? I demand representation on the intersectionality chart.

    • CPRM on October 3, 2017 at 10:30 pm

      Oddly, no matter where in the world we are Wisconsinites seem to be over represented in the late night links…must be the drinking.

      • Russian Kia Drives Yusef on October 3, 2017 at 10:32 pm

        Passing out maybe?

        • CPRM on October 3, 2017 at 10:36 pm

          If we didn’t pass out we’d never sleep, just keep drinking.

          • Russian Kia Drives Yusef on October 3, 2017 at 10:36 pm

            So I shall 😉

      • straffinrun on October 3, 2017 at 10:35 pm

        Technically Michigan, but spent most of my childhood in Chicken Waffles.

        • CPRM on October 3, 2017 at 11:23 pm

          Say at least it’s the UP and not the monstrosity that is the mitten.

      • Playa Manhattan on October 3, 2017 at 11:30 pm

        I just learned about Dinner Clubs the other week.

        • CPRM on October 3, 2017 at 11:32 pm

          A fish fry with a Brandy old fashioned? (Wisconsin Friday Night)

        • CPRM on October 3, 2017 at 11:34 pm

          And it’s a Supper Club.

          • CPRM on October 3, 2017 at 11:36 pm

            For those not in the know about our odd drunk culture.

    • Russian Kia Drives Yusef on October 3, 2017 at 10:31 pm

      No this is for West coast folks like you and I and Playa and Elite Elite, etc,

      • straffinrun on October 3, 2017 at 10:33 pm

        I’m a little more West than you guys.

        • Q Continuum on October 3, 2017 at 10:35 pm

          You could say you’re so West, you’re East.

        • Russian Kia Drives Yusef on October 3, 2017 at 10:35 pm

          not compared to the Midwest “persons”

          • Q Continuum on October 3, 2017 at 10:37 pm

            Come now Yusef, you know they’re not people.

          • Russian Kia Drives Yusef on October 3, 2017 at 10:38 pm

            Ooo Kayy
            /slinks off

      • Playa Manhattan on October 3, 2017 at 11:30 pm

        Did you make it out for cocktails last weekend?

    • Q Continuum on October 3, 2017 at 10:33 pm

      You can be between trans-sexual midgets and objectophiliac eunuchs with Marfan syndrome.

  14. straffinrun on October 3, 2017 at 10:32 pm

    10 bucks 10 minute haircut. I have no self esteem, but the coffee shop gal wearing a light cotton tee shirt with small but nice titties gave me a big smile.

    • Russian Kia Drives Yusef on October 3, 2017 at 10:34 pm

      Your a Jap, just faking, I knew it, no American can get that done for under 20 bucks, the Hair gave you away
      /jk OC

      • straffinrun on October 3, 2017 at 10:40 pm

        Google QB House. They’re everywhere. They vacuum your head when they’re done.

        • Gustave Lytton on October 3, 2017 at 10:59 pm

          So happy ending?

          They’re in NYC now if Google is to be trusted. $20 & under 15 minutes. Still more expensive than my barber and sounds slower.

          • straffinrun on October 3, 2017 at 11:04 pm

            Usually takes 15 minutes or so, but they do a pretty good job.

          • dbleagle on October 3, 2017 at 11:19 pm

            $11 for a haircut. Try a place near a military base if you need a good basic haircut.

    • Q Continuum on October 3, 2017 at 10:35 pm

      Go nab some drunken divorcees!

      • straffinrun on October 3, 2017 at 10:37 pm

        I’ll look, but I’m not crazy. If you think Western divorcées are nuts, try an Asian one.

        • Q Continuum on October 3, 2017 at 10:40 pm

          How bout Asian scorned wives?

        • CPRM on October 3, 2017 at 10:41 pm

          Like a Saigon whore?

    • egould310 on October 3, 2017 at 10:35 pm

      ?

    • CPRM on October 3, 2017 at 10:38 pm

      Review of that fine Asian establishment “It sucks as it cuts“

      • straffinrun on October 3, 2017 at 10:41 pm

        Now that is timing. Bingo.

  15. Russian Kia Drives Yusef on October 3, 2017 at 10:44 pm

    what are you listening to right now? I have Kebu, Alice cooper, Megadeth and Deadmau5, flowing

    • Q Continuum on October 3, 2017 at 10:45 pm

      36 Crazyfists.

    • CPRM on October 3, 2017 at 10:45 pm

      I…I…I have a fan on.

      • Russian Kia Drives Yusef on October 3, 2017 at 10:46 pm

        Damn that was funny

        • CPRM on October 3, 2017 at 10:48 pm

          Now that you mentioned music though, some I put on some Gary Puckett and the Union Gap.

          • egould310 on October 3, 2017 at 11:23 pm

            Good song.

      • straffinrun on October 3, 2017 at 10:48 pm

        Luke, I am your father. Amirite?

        • CPRM on October 3, 2017 at 10:50 pm

          I have one of those terminator hands not 4 feet from me.

          • Yusef drives a Kia on October 3, 2017 at 10:52 pm

            What is your address there?
            /T800

          • CPRM on October 3, 2017 at 10:55 pm

            Yusef.

          • Yusef drives a Kia on October 3, 2017 at 10:56 pm

            Awesome 🙂

          • Bobarian LMD on October 3, 2017 at 11:55 pm

            How you masturbate is your own business.

    • egould310 on October 3, 2017 at 11:12 pm

      Heaters new song “Thanksgiving II”. Guitar based heavy psyche garage jamming. https://youtu.be/_CfxUynNzI0

      • CPRM on October 3, 2017 at 11:20 pm

        I like the music, but not the way the vocals are done.

    • egould310 on October 3, 2017 at 11:35 pm

      Some T Rex https://youtu.be/nDZLXxeeIGo

    • egould310 on October 3, 2017 at 11:40 pm

      Black magic will save us all

      https://youtu.be/iN01k0_zlno

    • egould310 on October 4, 2017 at 12:01 am

      King Gizzard and tge Wizard Lizard https://youtu.be/Qxxz7Tgfsv4

  16. Yusef drives a Kia on October 3, 2017 at 10:54 pm

    By the Way, Grey Top hat Because Fuck You!

    • CPRM on October 3, 2017 at 10:57 pm

      I have a bowler hat. I’m a libertarian hipster.

      • Q Continuum on October 3, 2017 at 11:01 pm

        I wear a cowboy hat, the true yokeltarian.

  17. Yusef drives a Kia on October 3, 2017 at 11:01 pm

    Fine , thread jacking.
    People using the turn in lane for turnout lane? 3rd World fuckers!
    Stop signs? Whatever
    Blatant trash in the streets? WTF?
    I’m not talking stupid licensing laws just common driving sense. What happened?

    • Q Continuum on October 3, 2017 at 11:04 pm

      Common sense car control.

      • Yusef drives a Kia on October 3, 2017 at 11:07 pm

        I would like to blame it on 3rd worlders, but even the EBIIL White folks do it,
        people are just stupid I guess

        • butt-head on October 4, 2017 at 12:42 am

          Excuse me, my stupidity and bad driving are not correlated.

  18. CPRM on October 3, 2017 at 11:09 pm

    “Hello, and welcome to the instructional audio series of, “Rock Vocal Power”With this easy to use step by step audio program you too will be be able to sing like the prosHere, you’ll learn all of the current, trendy, vocal techniques used by virtually all of today’s chartbustersI’m sure you’re thinking, “How can I learn to sing like one of today’s rock singers, when I can’t sing at all?” Well, it’s not so hard with, “Rock Vocal Power” ““

    • egould310 on October 3, 2017 at 11:19 pm

      Nice guitar. Want.

  19. DOOMco on October 3, 2017 at 11:22 pm

    Jesus Christ, that’s Donald Trump.

    • CPRM on October 3, 2017 at 11:27 pm

      I don’t think you have to tell Jesus that, he seems to have been there.

      • Playa Manhattan on October 3, 2017 at 11:40 pm

        Jesus has at least a gigabit internet connection. No, terabit.

        • CPRM on October 3, 2017 at 11:44 pm

          Teraflop. Exactly one teraflop. I did some work for him once, not to brag.

          • Bobarian LMD on October 4, 2017 at 12:05 am

            Installed hidden cameras in his guest rooms?

            Came to the door in a dress?

            “Lots a messiahs like to watch their buddies fuck, don’t make em no fag!”

          • Playa Manhattan on October 4, 2017 at 1:03 am

            Of course. Jesus also computes.

  20. CPRM on October 4, 2017 at 12:25 am

    We are a drinking people, so to the rest of you it might be a Shirley Temple, but to us it is a kiddie cocktail. We get the kids ready for their alcoholism, like responsible adults. Give ’em a pack of bubble gum cigarettes and their like tiny people.

  21. butt-head on October 4, 2017 at 2:46 am

    Ha, I just spotted our old friend AddictionMyth on an article from two years ago on a website called thefix. Small internet.

  22. straffinrun on October 4, 2017 at 3:48 am

    \(ツ)/

    • straffinrun on October 4, 2017 at 12:16 pm

      Nigel adding to his greatest hits.

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