Work has been a bear already (and not in a good way), so I’m gonna keep it short and sweet. When I was but a wee lad and unwise in the way of manly men my mother was a HUGE fan of Magnum PI. At the time I thought she just found the show compelling. Hindsight being 20/20, I realize now that Tom Selleck is a retro bit of beefcake who liked his shorts short, his women thicc and his cars very red.

I am retroactively horrified that she was so insistent I’d go outside and play during summer break when it was on.