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The Continuing Awesome Adventures of Secret Nazi President!!11!1!

Posted by BakedPenguin | Apr 23, 2017 | Comic, Satire, Secret Nazi President | 72

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About The Author

BakedPenguin

72 Comments

  1. Ted S. on April 23, 2017 at 6:37 pm

    Ooh, another open thread! 🙂

    Today’s movie viewing was The Confession, Costa-Gavras’ film about the show trials in Czechoslovakia in 1952. Brutal but worth watching. It’s hard to see how anybody could remain a Communist after watching the movie, or experiencing what the main character in the movie did. Yet the main character (real person Artur London) and his wife did remain Communists.

    • westernsloper on April 23, 2017 at 7:00 pm

      Did they remain in Czechoslovakia and remain communists, or move to a capitalist country to be communists?

      • Ted S. on April 23, 2017 at 7:05 pm

        They wound up in France. Although the wife was French by birth. And they still supported Communism up until their deaths.

        • westernsloper on April 23, 2017 at 7:07 pm

          I feel true communists should live in communist countries, otherwise they are just posers.

    • DEG on April 23, 2017 at 7:40 pm

      I remember watching a documentary on the Soviet Union on youtube. Someone had recorded it from PBS, the BBC, or one of the other big broadcasters. It was filmed after the Soviet Union collapsed. I wish I could remember the name. I took a quick search through youtube and cannot find it.

      In the documentary, the film makers interviewed a woman who grew up in a village. The Communist government brought schools to the village, which she attended. She went on to become an engineer and worked in electrification of rural areas. Somewhere along the way, she pissed someone off. She spent time in the Gulag. Despite that, she admired the Communists. They educated her!

  2. Zero Sum Game on April 23, 2017 at 6:37 pm

    *Secession

    ?for you.

    • Ted S. on April 23, 2017 at 6:44 pm

      Or Sezession.

      • Rhywun on April 23, 2017 at 6:53 pm

        Or Secession.

        • westernsloper on April 23, 2017 at 7:05 pm

          Or Succession

  3. Mr Lizard on April 23, 2017 at 6:41 pm

    Your Future Reptilian Overlords welcome a small exchange of tactical nukes.

    • RothbardsBitch1 on April 23, 2017 at 6:47 pm

      My basset hound swallowed one your brethren whole today. Poor thing is probably crawling around in there fully alive slowly being digested like Boba Fett in the Sarlacc.

      • Mr Lizard on April 23, 2017 at 6:56 pm

        Meh, those of my species that are too stupid to dodge an otherwise useless howling mammal deserve their fate

        • But Enough About Me on April 23, 2017 at 6:57 pm

          That’s cold, d00d.

          Like your blood.

  4. Rhywun on April 23, 2017 at 6:46 pm

    There’s something… off about Consuela’s left arm.

    • But Enough About Me on April 23, 2017 at 6:50 pm

      Noticed that, didja? 😉

    • DEG on April 23, 2017 at 6:51 pm

      I didn’t notice until you pointed that out.

    • Ted S. on April 23, 2017 at 6:52 pm

      You’re not looking at the thicc parts?

      • But Enough About Me on April 23, 2017 at 6:54 pm

        The thicc parts are definitely zaftig, but as a long-time Photoshopper (20 MORE YEARS! 20 MORE YEARS! 20 MORE YEARS!), I’m . . . sensitive to these sorts of things.

        • BakedPenguin on April 23, 2017 at 8:56 pm

          BEAM (and Rhywun), I work with Photoshop Elements now, not the real thing. Warp and a lot of my other fav tools are gone for me now. I’m doing my best for an unpaid thing which is now outside my profession, and for which I had a 10 year absence.

          But go ahead and judge, judgies. In all honestly, I’d prefer you take on the humor, as I can stand to improve there a lot more than my PS skills. If I had the full suite, I’d show you bastards. I’d show you GOOD!

          • The Elite Elite on April 23, 2017 at 9:00 pm

            The content is what matters the most, BP. Your content is gold. This stuff is damn funny.

          • BakedPenguin on April 23, 2017 at 9:35 pm

            ty, ee. I was trying to be funny, but I am bitter about not having the full PS package. That thing’s amazing.

          • BakedPenguin on April 23, 2017 at 9:07 pm

            Also, I tried to link to the scene in The Jerk where Steve Martin grabs random objects while proclaiming it’s all he needs, but I couldn’t. I thought that had a point related to this, but maybe not. Anyway, you’re a dick! *throws wild punch, stumbles into trash cans*, passes out.

          • BakedPenguin on April 23, 2017 at 9:39 pm

            Sorry, guys. My first reaction is being defensive. I should’ve worked to find a better method.

      • DiegoF on April 23, 2017 at 8:04 pm

        Note to HM: *Those* are the parts that are supposed to be thicc, and the manner in which they should be thicc. POWER TO THE WHITE MAN…’s aesthetic standards.

        • Festus on April 24, 2017 at 1:29 am

          Indubitably! (Puffs on corn-cob pipe, strokes self).

    • Vhyrus on April 23, 2017 at 6:52 pm

      Wait, she has arms?

      • westernsloper on April 23, 2017 at 6:54 pm

        Exactly!!

    • Rhywun on April 23, 2017 at 6:54 pm

      That’s what I’m here for.

    • Hyperion on April 23, 2017 at 6:54 pm

      Both arms. She’s one of them… the lizards. I bet she secretly works for secret Nazi President.

      • Mr Lizard on April 23, 2017 at 6:58 pm

        They all work for us…

        • Swiss Servator on April 23, 2017 at 7:10 pm

          Secret Nazi Lizard President?!

          *head explodes*

          • Mr Lizard on April 23, 2017 at 7:33 pm

            My bosses don’t understand subtlety enough to qualify as secret… That’s why they hired me

  5. Hyperion on April 23, 2017 at 6:53 pm

    Nice addition of generic owl glasses girl.

  6. Zero Sum Game on April 23, 2017 at 6:53 pm

    This is just plain funny.

    • westernsloper on April 23, 2017 at 7:16 pm

      That is funny.

    • DiegoF on April 23, 2017 at 7:17 pm

      I am loving the world we are living in. The Sun is throwing red meat to its head-butting, tracksuit-wearing readership by celebrating gay porn and rainbow pride messages. The Guardian will no doubt hire a militant gay activist to condemn the pattern of culturally imperialist Islamophobia behind such acts. (The Spectator will just continue doing what they’ve been best at since day one: **being absolutely fucking right**.)

  7. DEG on April 23, 2017 at 6:54 pm

    The Newshish producer that edited the random Asian girl with owl glasses bit needs to be fired. She should not have been able to embarrass Newshish like that!

    • Zero Sum Game on April 23, 2017 at 6:55 pm

      They cut the feed, just like CNN. 😉

    • westernsloper on April 23, 2017 at 6:57 pm

      Obviously dodging the questions.

  8. westernsloper on April 23, 2017 at 6:56 pm

    Another superb episode, and points for generic Asian girl with owl glasses.

    • But Enough About Me on April 23, 2017 at 6:58 pm

      I dunno. Needs more Sailor Moon.

  9. But Enough About Me on April 23, 2017 at 7:02 pm

    Looks like Macron and Le Pen have kicked the traditional French centre-left and centre-right parties to the curb. Should be an interesting run-off in two weeks’ time.

    • Hyperion on April 23, 2017 at 7:04 pm

      The leftist are all gone, except for the not so much out in the open leftist, Macron. Still, as good of a result as could be expected. The left are still on the run worldwide. What’s not to like?

      • Ted S. on April 23, 2017 at 7:06 pm

        Fillon vs. Le Pen might have been better.

        • Hyperion on April 23, 2017 at 7:07 pm

          Maybe in that Le Pen would have a better shot. I actually expect her to win because the media says she cannot.

          • DiegoF on April 23, 2017 at 7:42 pm

            I don’t know what I’d do if I were French.

            I like Le Pen for her Euroskepticism and sense of national purpose, but dislike her extreme economic and social illiberalism.

            Macron’s En Marche! is like a shittier Ciudadanos in Spain. I like its destruction of the political order and its appeal as a relatively liberal home for the disaffected young. I dislike most everything else about it, especially its aggressive Europhilia in the name of banal postnationalism.

            I’d probably vote for Fillon, with his soft Euroskepticism and (by France’s pathetic standards) hard economic liberalism. But of course he’s a crook.

            I like Hamon for, like all French Leftists nowadays, his support for overhauling their present rather ad hoc system and founding a Sixth Republic. I cannot find a single other thing I like about him (except perhaps his support for UBI, which I believe might be a good Trojan horse for dismantling the bureaucratic welfare state).

            I like Melenchon for his Euroskepticism. I would totally vote for his Commie ass over Hamon.

            This Dupont-Aignan fellow that no one is talking about but did decently is like a hard-Euroskeptic Fillon. Don’t know much about him, but maybe I’d have voted for him.

  10. Hyperion on April 23, 2017 at 7:02 pm

    Just read an article about Trump preparing for a possible 2nd SCOTUS pick. Looks like they are expecting Kennedy to retire. But also keep in mind that the ancient old bat could keel over any minute now. And sounds like Pryor is still very much in the running. Trump could conceivably get 2 more picks in only one term.

    • But Enough About Me on April 23, 2017 at 7:03 pm

      “BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!,” indeed.

      • Swiss Servator on April 23, 2017 at 7:12 pm

        I need to run that through Google Translate “Secret Nazi” to “English”.

    • westernsloper on April 23, 2017 at 7:11 pm

      I have a wrinkled $5 bill that RBG’s clerks do all her work and write her opinions. That thing is senile as fuck.

      Although she did call Lindsey a lady of the Senate, so she may be sharper than I am giving her credit for.

      • DiegoF on April 23, 2017 at 7:53 pm

        But why everyone so mad at poor RBG? She doesn’t seem senile to me, maybe a little charmingly “old-acting” like everyone gets. Progs do not adore her for nothing; she is clearly the intellectual beacon of the “liberal” wing. Do you think that Sotomayor or, for that matter, Kennedy will be beating her at board games anytime soon? I am not surprised she was Scalia’s BFF. I think I might get along with her too. (Still want her ass off the court ASAP, to be sure. **Retired** of course!)

        • westernsloper on April 23, 2017 at 8:09 pm

          Sotomayer couldn’t win a board game playing against a bucket of chicken. I don’t know. I heard RBG clips of when she called Lindsey the lady of the senate. She sounds out there to me. And as you say, “old-acting”. Normal people retire when they get that way. The fact we have life time appointments to the supremes is a big problem.

          • Ted S. on April 24, 2017 at 4:01 am

            +1 William O. Douglas.

        • The Elite Elite on April 23, 2017 at 8:10 pm

          Typical libertarian! Calling for the death of your political opponents! This is why we need to punch nazis like you! /antifa

    • The Elite Elite on April 23, 2017 at 7:19 pm

      Richard in the SCOTUS? That’d be interesting.

      • Hyperion on April 23, 2017 at 7:27 pm

        “William” Pryor seems to be a libertarian favorite for SCOTUS. I haven’t really vetted him myself, just going by what I have heard from other libertarians.

    • Gilmore on April 23, 2017 at 7:19 pm

      We will need to build an aqueduct to collect all the tears

      • Hyperion on April 23, 2017 at 7:27 pm

        Orphans! Stack those tear barrels higher!

    • Suthenboy on April 23, 2017 at 7:20 pm

      Christ, we could end up with an entire bench of Trump picks. I would really love to see Napolitano on the bench but he might be a bit old. I would want someone who is going to be around for decades. Same applies to JR Brown.

  11. RothbardsBitch1 on April 23, 2017 at 7:15 pm

    So update on my teaching career. My department has officially replaced me for the fall semester. I am a contract employee and my contract ends in May and will not be renewed. Not a big deal because I have two teaching offers letters of recommendation and good teaching evaluations (well mostly excellent, I had one class full of freshmen 100 level that did not belong in college so I failed the fuck out of them). Anyways they gave two reasons for replacing me, one is I don’t have a PhD (fair enough usually at the university level the profs have PhDs.) and they wanted more diversity. So my replacement is a Muslim woman who will be teaching Islamic Feminism in addition to my classes. Apparently the fact that I was one of only two non leftists in the whole department doesn’t matter. I teach Poli Sci btw. True diversity is another leftist that is brown and doesn’t have a dick.

    • Ted S. on April 23, 2017 at 7:17 pm

      Diversity means LETELU: Looks exotic, thinks exactly like us.

    • Vhyrus on April 23, 2017 at 7:18 pm

      I would sue for discrimination. Dead serious.

    • westernsloper on April 23, 2017 at 7:26 pm

      Professors teaching at the 100 level are PHD’s? My poli sci professor (night classes) at that level was some lawyer in town. I am pretty sure he was not a PHD. Granted that was awhile ago.

      • Old Man With Candy on April 23, 2017 at 8:46 pm

        Mine were PhDs from top schools (Harvard, Berkeley, Princeton, MIT…). Physics/chem major.

      • R C Dean on April 24, 2017 at 2:02 pm

        A JD degree is a doctorate, you know.

    • DiegoF on April 23, 2017 at 8:26 pm

      This should be a valuable cue that you cannot continue like this. It’s hard enough in today’s job market if you **do** have a Ph.D. Get one or pull the plug, hard as it might be; you are almost certainly better off building experience in another sector. Even if your prospects are good at this particular juncture, this is no kind of life! The only thing that differs among people is how soon they realize it.

  12. Gilmore on April 23, 2017 at 7:17 pm

    eeeeeexcellent

  13. egould310 on April 23, 2017 at 7:25 pm

    Brilliant! Thanks BP.

  14. But Enough About Me on April 23, 2017 at 9:42 pm

    Shoulda been an electrician.

    Hey BP! There’s nuthin’ wrong with Photoshop Elements.

    • BakedPenguin on April 23, 2017 at 10:02 pm

      BEAM – sorry for getting whiny. You and Rhywun are right. While I do miss the full Adobe Suite I had when I was doing wedding vids, Elements is not bad for what it is.

      • Mythical Libertarian Woman on April 24, 2017 at 1:21 am

        I have an 11 year old version of Elements and it still does mostly everything I need it to. There are a lot of workarounds for things that technically aren’t available in Elements (such as layer masks) if you Google. You’ll get used to it. (And if not, would a free alternative like Gimp work for you?)

        P.S. I love this comic!

  15. But Enough About Me on April 24, 2017 at 12:35 am

    Hey, I’m too cheap to spend the big bucks, which is why I use the Adobe Photographer’s bundle. $9.99 USD/month. I can easily forego a couple of shitty Starbucks lattes for that. And I actually thought the woman’s arm was meant to be that way as a “wink” to your audience.

    And the only criticism I’d have about the humour is that it’s not scene-chewing batshit-crazy enough. Progs + logic = comedy.

    (Apropos of nothing, Swiftkey on my Android devices is awesome, but on this iPad Air I’m using to type this, it sucks donkey’s ass.)

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